What we have here is a failure to communicate

March 30, 2019 – No matter what anyone else says and regardless of any impact on my self-esteem, I have to deal with failure. I do fail. There are moments after difficult talks where I question myself. Not so much question my motives, but the results force me to question my approach, my attitude, and reevaluate my words. Sometimes people are just complicated or stubborn, but the interaction still results in failure. My biggest fear is that I will always feel trapped in a cycle of failure that produces no progress—no growth.

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Unlike the warden in the movie Cool Hand Luke, I think I’ve finally learned something to help me overcome this cycle. After a recent “discussion,” I realized that I had been allowing my point to be more important to me than my audience. Steven Covey was correct when he suggested as one of his 7 Habits, that we seek first to understand, then to be understood. In other words, will we demonstrate genuine love, the kind of love that Jesus talked about which defies human logic?

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I encourage you, Son, to see beyond your point to the heart of the person. They could be going through just about anything at a given moment. Love them first and they will hear your heart long before they comprehend your words.

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